Alone in the arena...

So here we go...again...Tomorrow I am flying out again, destination: Gold Coast.

Today I thought back to all those, already numerous times, I had to go through this process and I realized there are two specific moments that make this departure a tough step to take. One of them is the night before. In my last post I spent many words trying to describe how my life is found to be split up into two distinct parts, but I think I can use one more metaphor to make this idea even clearer; my life is just like a big arena, only I sometime am the spectator and some other time the gladiator fighting with the lions. Right now, I am still a spectator, but conscious of the fact that soon enough I'll put my armor on once again. It's this consciousness, which I feel really strongly, that gives me discomfort and stress at the eve of my going away. The second one represents the moment when entering the arena and that is the last sight of my parents' expression and faces beyond the security gate, the point of no turning back. That is probably the only moment when those two worlds meet, maybe just for a second or a blink of the eye. And that fleeting moment always gives me the same response: you don't belong to that side, but it's your duty to strive and conquer yourself there. And it's just that truth you don't want to hear at times. But it still is the truth. The more time I spend on that side, the less I feel like I belong there. Instability reigns sovereign upon the arena. And what makes it even worse is that you do not know if you can count on other gladiators to come and succor you. So far I felt like there were very few I could rely on, but now I get this gut feeling that the more I will go on the more I will be alone. My beloved mum opened my eyes once again tonight. I repeated this concept in my mind so many times and I could not myself believe that I had not internalized it yet, when I heard it coming out of her lips. I am alone...and will always be. Even the people that are closest to me could in a moment be gone or, even worse, change and become people far from the ones I have learnt to rely on and trust. That rule has no exceptions. That, I find terrifying. Only God I can trust in all and at every time. That, I find extremely reassuring.

I have so many tests to counter in the next few months, but maybe my preliminary test is to really understand this. I feel like I know what I want to do and what the changes I want to bring are, but I need God to show me the way, day after day, and this is my prayer. May He give me the strength to walk His paths, careless of the obstacles on the way.

God Bless,

Tenete Botta e

Forza Juve!

My life split in two..

WOW! I just looked at my last post.. 25th Dec.. Funny to think how fast things change during my frequent visits to Italy. It's now 1.50am of 11th Jan 2010 and it feels like so much has changed already, so many things bugging me and going through my mind. 

It seems to me like my life at this stage is distinctly divided into two parts: Italy and Australia. To me they are not only geographically distinguished, but rather they have very separate and distinct roles in my life. Australia is where I live now, where my routine runs its course, where days go by and you don't even realize because you are too busy planning and organizing day after day. It's also a time of trials and tests. 

Italy is usually the time when I analyze my response to those tests. It represents a separate, more objective Me who critically analyzes the Australian Me and gives him suggestions for the future. Interestingly enough, most of the times the Australian Me lacks objectivity and criticism. I often get sucked in perverse mechanisms that slowly manipulate me and what's scary is that I do not ackowledge it, rather justifying my actions. Do not get me wrong; I think I can safely say that I am strong in my ideals, my principles but society works in sneaky and twisted ways. No matter how strong you are it gradually erodes you like the ocean's waves do with rocks they hit repetitively. Consequently, the Italian Me needs to take over and open my eyes, and so it did. 

That's when I realized that I was compromising with society's standards, while that was never my purpose in mind. I am not going to go into much details, because that is not really the purpose of this blog. Here I want to freeze, store and save thoughts, impressions and considerations not necessarily facts as I don't think I need to. Now I just want to go back to the 'real life' and put into action what I have come to realize, hoping that I'll do better this time. 

It's so hard to be a Bahà'ì these days. It's a responsibility. It's hard work. It's giving up your ego for the greater good, for the love of the Blessed Beauty. And 'ego' was actually one of the most recurrent word in my thoughts in these last few days. 

It all came together in my head while I was taking a shower a few days ago and it became my Facebook status straight away. It goes like this: though I'll never be perfect, I will always chase and strive for excellence because my love for it far exceeds the love I have for my imperfect ego. And I guess that's why I am a Bahà'ì. I mean there are many reasons really. But what makes me want to follow a Bahà'ì lifestyle and pursue a Bahà'ì identity is really that. I love excellence, the excellence of 'Abdu-l-Bahà, more than I love my ego. Oh well, at least that's the direction I am aiming towards. And that makes me happy. I know it's going to be a continuum of tests, trials and sacrifices but that's who I want to become. Happiness lays in putting my life in the hands of the Blessed Beauty. Nothing else matters. 

God Bless,

Tenete Botta e 

Forza Juve!

A teenage gone too fast..

Today was an interesting day. For xmas all our uncles and cousins came to our house for a big persian lunch. But that's not really what I wanted to talk about: see... everytime when we finally met up with our cousins there's a routine that has become part of these family meetings, meaning at the end of the day when everyone is about to leave we'd shrink our brains coming up with the lamest excuses to convince our parents and uncles to let us stay with our cousins, even only for a few more days.. sometimes it'd work, sometimes it wouldn't, regardless it was always lots of fun! 

Why am I telling you this all? I guess because today the routine was broken...well at least for me it was... I was with the big boys, meaning my uncles and older cousins, talking of business, world economy and future work opportunities, while my brother and cousin were playing PS2 and my other brother and other cousin were playing table tennis downstairs. Not that there is anything bad about that. I actually quite enjoy being treated as a grown-up at this stage in my life. But when it came to the 'routine' I felt really left out and that's when it hit me. My teenage years are over. They have been for a while and I realized that myself, but you know when you acknowledge something in theory but don't fully appreciate its practical aspects until they hit you. Well that's how I felt. 

It's peculiar how we never fully appreciate the beauty or just the uniqueness of whatever life stage we are going through until it's over. If I think back to those years, they were troubling, difficult years for a constantly-shaping mind but God they were good times! They also probably finished earlier for me than anybody else I know, but bottom line I guess is I have no regrets for the choices I made and the only way is the one ahead, no looking back! 

God Bless, 

Tenete botta,

e Forza Juve! 

I am back.. for GOOD!

Hey you (whoever that is...),

I know no one will probably read this post as my only follower atm is my dear cousin Ashkan (love you Ash!), but today I felt the need to refresh this blog with something new. 

 

It all started by reading this new blog my good russian friend Gleb (Hi Gleb!) started to keep record of his Melbourne trip and I thought to myself that it'd be interesting to look back into this blog in a few years or even in a few month and compare my ideas, my vision, my perspectives in the present and in the past and speculate on what the future may behold. 

First of all a few changes to my profile. Useless to say I copy/paste all my favorite music/movies... Secondly, and most importantly, I changed my blog name. Miky1990 just sounded plain boring. Threereligions.onegod sounds way more intriguing and interesting. SOO, in order to satisfy my imaginary reader's curiosity I am going to explain the reasoning behind this name. 

People who know me well know that I usually say about myself that I have three religions, namely the Bahà'ì Faith, Ligabue and Juventus. Now, why religions? I guess in attributing this denomination, I took a really broad definition of the term. I guess 'religions' because they are the three ideals or simply just things I'll always hang on to. 

I want to clear up something straight away. It may seem from what I previously said that these three are all on the same level. This is definitely not the case as the Bahà'ì Faith has a role in my life that nothing else can ever replace. It's what I aspire to, my aim in life and the permeating factor of my existence. 

Having said that, Ligabue as you may infer from my 'Favourite Music' box, is my favorite singer. Why? Well, despite his wonderful and touching lyrics, also because his songs bring back so many memories. I only started following him as a singer in my teenage years but so much has changed in my life since I moved to Australia that sometimes those years feel like so long ago, thus memories. 

And lastly, well, like any good Italian, I have a favorite soccer team, Juventus. They are not going through great times these days but La Vecchia Signora never gives up, never surrenders!

Finally, why .onegod.? I guess again to reinforce that although the denomination 'religion' may be fallacious, the one and sole real guidance in my life is indeed the Bahà'ì Faith, reiterating what I already mentioned above.  

Well, now that all the house-keeping is out of the way some thoughts about now. I am finally enjoying a holiday back home with the family. Exams were so stressful I think I lost a few more kilos (as if I wasn't skinny enough...), but now I am enjoying some relax, although the freezing weather is limiting my enjoyment, but I'll find my way to work around it... 

Family is so stressed and even I got sucked in the hectic routine. I am jumping all over the place baby-sitting my little brother and sister, cleaning, washing etc. Thanks God I still manage to find room for myself, hence this blog. 

I promised myself, I will keep this blog posted with my thoughts and impressions. I am probably going to post at some point some of my poem I wrote while living Down-Under...

we'll see...For now, great to be back! 

Take care, 

God Bless,

Tenete Botta, e

Forza Juve!

Just Me ...

Hey ! My name is Michelangelo. I'm 18 years old and I am currently a Law Student at Bond University in Gold Coast, Australia.

As you may infer from my name, I'm originally Italian, born and grown up in Italy, even though my mum is Iranian and I am proud of my Persian origins.

My main hobbies are playing soccer, surfing the net, watching movies and, of course listening to music. I mainly listen to rock,pop-punk, punk-rock and soft-rock but I don't mind other genres. My favorite bands/singers are Blink 182, Sum 41, Plus 44, Good Charlotte, Coldplay and Red Hot Chili Peppers but I'm particularly a fan of Ligabue, an italian singer about whom I am going to write a post soon.

As every good italian I am a soccer fan and I support F.C. Juventus. My favorite players are surely Del Piero and Buffon, not only for their undoubted talent but also for their humbleness and integrity outside the soccer field.

Regarding me, I'm the oldest of 4 brothers and 1 sister: my brothers' names are Alessandro (14), PierFrancesco (11) and Leonardo (8 months :) ) and my sister Vittoria (4).

After my 3rd year of high school in Italy, I took the decision to come to Australia to graduate a year earlier and get started with my university studies. And so here I am. I graduated in April 2007 and started my Law degree at the beginning of September.

I am an active member of the Baha'i Faith, a religion born in Iran in the mid 1850s, and I'll surely develop this aspect about myself as this blog goes on.

That's just a little bit about me and I'm sure I forgot about something but you'll get to know more about me as my blog develops.

You all take care! See you next time!